Blessed🤍 Today was sweet Della Rue’s baby bl

Blessed🤍

Today was sweet Della Rue’s baby blessing🥹 It was such a special day and Hudson gave her a beautiful blessing💗 I’m so grateful for our family and friends who came to support and love on her🥰 I’m so grateful for our village and know our girls are blessed to have such amazing people supporting + cheering them on🥹 Grateful for God who is in the details of our sweet family and has blessed me beyond measure with my little family🤍🤍🤍🤍 #blessed #blessing #babyblessing #lds #ldsliving #grateful #girlmom #idahomom

Matching w/ my besties💕 I love being their mam

Matching w/ my besties💕

I love being their mama🥹 Hearing Elsie sing to Della when she’s sad or tell me “I miss Della most when I’m at school because she’s my SISTER” but melts my heart💗😭 I love their love. Couldn’t resist the chance to get matching Minnie Mouse sweatshirts because ya know #girlmom things💁🏻‍♀️

#girlmama #bestfriends #motherhoodmoments #motherhoodjourney infertility #idahome #idahomom

In my postpartum era✨ Our bodies are amazing. A

In my postpartum era✨

Our bodies are amazing. As much as I’ve loathed mine over the years I have also been so amazed to watch the way it has weathered every surgery, procedure, injection, etc. Just as I have changed mentally/emotionally through infertility my body has too! Pregnancy and postpartum is no different🥰 Through out my pregnancy I loved seeing it change and adapt each month❤️ I wasn’t sure what to expect postpartum but I have been documenting the journey to see what my body is capable of. I have spent the last 6 weeks taking it slow and focusing on healing✨ I’m excited to hopefully be cleared for exercise tomorrow and to start strengthening my body again but regardless I’m going to continuing to love it in every phase🤍🥹
#postpartum #postpartumbody #postpartumjourney birth #girlmom #postpartumsupport

Happy Hearts Day💕 Our day was full of LOVE🥰

Happy Hearts Day💕

Our day was full of LOVE🥰 Elsie enjoyed her school party and was so excited to pass out Valentines 💌 I made fun cookies for her class 💗 Hudson took Elsie on her first date last weekend for Valentines Day and they had the best time🥹 Heart shaped sourdough for Hudson’s grandma✨ And we ended the night with our annual pizza night 🍕 So grateful for my loves😍 #familytime #valentines #valentinesday #familytradition #holiday #girlmom #idahome

Embarrassing truth?? I cried when I got my first

Embarrassing truth??

I cried when I got my first 🩸 pp today🙈 It’s not that I forgot the last 10 months that I’m infertile or that my hostile uterus is a ticking time bomb of endometriosis and adenomyosis. The anxiety I felt through pregnancy could only be rooted through years of loss and infertility😅 But seeing that today was a reminder of all the weight infertility still carries in my life. That despite the miraculous last 10 months I am still faced with difficult choices regarding my body, fertility, and family that most woman don’t a few weeks pp.

It reminded me that next week I have to meet with my doctor and decide whether I’m going to start my endo meds and put my body in menopause. Or risk rolling the dice and having the disease progress to the point where surgery is needed and another pregnancy is not possible. No one can tell us whether this pregnancy was a one off or whether we can expect that to happen much easier in the future? Times like these make me with I had a crystal ball to make these decisions easier🙃 I can’t help but be reminded today what a gift the last 10 months has been and that nothing in motherhood is ever guaranteed so I better soak up every moment of it I get with our girls🥹🤍🤍

All the things I did… just so I could call them

All the things I did… just so I could call them mine🤍🤍

Sometimes it feels like a different lifetime when I think back on the last 7 years. The things I’ve lived through, endured, suffered with, and lost in my pursuit of motherhood. There are pieces of myself that I will never get back. Every injection, negative test, pill, ultrasound, surgery, blood draw, and heartbreak molded me. It brought me to paths I never thought I’d walk on that ultimately put me in the right place at the right time to meet these two beautiful souls💕 Each moment was a vital part of our story✨ I’d do it all again to find them, to be worthy of their love, and to be able to call them mine🥹 #motherhoodjourney infertility #infertilityjourney #girlmom postpartum #idaholiving

“I want to be a mama just like you”💗 When

“I want to be a mama just like you”💗

When Elsie was born I would always tell her that I have no clue what I’m doing but that she doesn’t know either so we are just going to figure this out together🥰 This time around while 4.5 years sometimes makes me feel like a total newbie again I am aware that I’m constantly being watched😂 It’s not just me and the baby figuring everything out during the day. It’s me, the baby, and Elsie🥹 She is observing, watching my failures (poop explosion being the worst of it so far😅), smiling at my wins, asking questions when she doesn’t understand, and seeing firsthand what motherhood looks like in its different forms.

When she tells me she wants to be a mom or that she wants to be like me it is seriously such an honor to me and makes me so emotional😭❤️ It matters because I’m not a perfect mom. I make mistakes. I apologize. I try to do better. Elsie sees it all and still sees the beauty in the imperfections and that makes this mama so happy and makes me feel like we are on the right track🥹 I love her so much! Had to capture this moment last night in the dinner chaos when she pulled out her baby carrier and wanted me to teach her how to put a diaper on her baby and put her in the carrier just like me and Della💕 #motherhoodjourney #girlmom #whenigrowup infertility #infertilityjourney newborn #idahomom

Happy Due Date Della Rue🤍 Fun fact at my baby

Happy Due Date Della Rue🤍

Fun fact at my baby shower we took guesses for when she would decide to come based off her due date and guess who won…. HUDSON😂 He guessed Saturday the 4th and no one guessed the 5th. Friday night on the 3rd we actually went into L&D because I thought I was leaking amniotic fluid. It was looking like Hudson was going to be spot on until they came and told us it was a false alarm🤦🏻‍♀️

The next day when my water actually broke we thought it was hilarious that she must be wanting her dad to win😂 Since she was born early morning on the 5th and his was the closest guess☺️ So glad she decided to come 2 weeks early🥰 She was ready and so were we! The last few weeks have been heavenly with our squish🥹

Sisters💕 The last 4.5 years I wondered if Elsi

Sisters💕

The last 4.5 years I wondered if Elsie would ever have a sibling. After IVF my hopes of her being a big sister were pretty shattered. The night before we found out we were pregnant with Della I cried to Hudson and vocalized my feelings that neither adoption or transferring our last embryo felt right. We had a real + raw conversation about the possibility that we were done having children. We knew if our family never grew we were blessed beyond measure and were happy as long as we were together🤍 Nine months later and these 2 sisters have my heart❤️

I look at them and I can see them growing up together… Elsie doing Della’s hair for her first dance, pedicures for the first day of school, sleepovers Christmas Eve, college roadtrips… it’s so clear now and I can’t imagine a world where we didn’t have both of our girls🥹 Their love is so special and I am loving watching it grow💗 #sisters #bestfriends #motherhoodjourney infertility #infertilityjourney #girlmom

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Blessed🤍 Today was sweet Della Rue’s baby bl

Blessed🤍

Today was sweet Della Rue’s baby blessing🥹 It was such a special day and Hudson gave her a beautiful blessing💗 I’m so grateful for our family and friends who came to support and love on her🥰 I’m so grateful for our village and know our girls are blessed to have such amazing people supporting + cheering them on🥹 Grateful for God who is in the details of our sweet family and has blessed me beyond measure with my little family🤍🤍🤍🤍 #blessed #blessing #babyblessing #lds #ldsliving #grateful #girlmom #idahomom

Matching w/ my besties💕 I love being their mam

Matching w/ my besties💕

I love being their mama🥹 Hearing Elsie sing to Della when she’s sad or tell me “I miss Della most when I’m at school because she’s my SISTER” but melts my heart💗😭 I love their love. Couldn’t resist the chance to get matching Minnie Mouse sweatshirts because ya know #girlmom things💁🏻‍♀️

#girlmama #bestfriends #motherhoodmoments #motherhoodjourney infertility #idahome #idahomom

In my postpartum era✨ Our bodies are amazing. A

In my postpartum era✨

Our bodies are amazing. As much as I’ve loathed mine over the years I have also been so amazed to watch the way it has weathered every surgery, procedure, injection, etc. Just as I have changed mentally/emotionally through infertility my body has too! Pregnancy and postpartum is no different🥰 Through out my pregnancy I loved seeing it change and adapt each month❤️ I wasn’t sure what to expect postpartum but I have been documenting the journey to see what my body is capable of. I have spent the last 6 weeks taking it slow and focusing on healing✨ I’m excited to hopefully be cleared for exercise tomorrow and to start strengthening my body again but regardless I’m going to continuing to love it in every phase🤍🥹
#postpartum #postpartumbody #postpartumjourney birth #girlmom #postpartumsupport

Happy Hearts Day💕 Our day was full of LOVE🥰

Happy Hearts Day💕

Our day was full of LOVE🥰 Elsie enjoyed her school party and was so excited to pass out Valentines 💌 I made fun cookies for her class 💗 Hudson took Elsie on her first date last weekend for Valentines Day and they had the best time🥹 Heart shaped sourdough for Hudson’s grandma✨ And we ended the night with our annual pizza night 🍕 So grateful for my loves😍 #familytime #valentines #valentinesday #familytradition #holiday #girlmom #idahome

Embarrassing truth?? I cried when I got my first

Embarrassing truth??

I cried when I got my first 🩸 pp today🙈 It’s not that I forgot the last 10 months that I’m infertile or that my hostile uterus is a ticking time bomb of endometriosis and adenomyosis. The anxiety I felt through pregnancy could only be rooted through years of loss and infertility😅 But seeing that today was a reminder of all the weight infertility still carries in my life. That despite the miraculous last 10 months I am still faced with difficult choices regarding my body, fertility, and family that most woman don’t a few weeks pp.

It reminded me that next week I have to meet with my doctor and decide whether I’m going to start my endo meds and put my body in menopause. Or risk rolling the dice and having the disease progress to the point where surgery is needed and another pregnancy is not possible. No one can tell us whether this pregnancy was a one off or whether we can expect that to happen much easier in the future? Times like these make me with I had a crystal ball to make these decisions easier🙃 I can’t help but be reminded today what a gift the last 10 months has been and that nothing in motherhood is ever guaranteed so I better soak up every moment of it I get with our girls🥹🤍🤍

All the things I did… just so I could call them

All the things I did… just so I could call them mine🤍🤍

Sometimes it feels like a different lifetime when I think back on the last 7 years. The things I’ve lived through, endured, suffered with, and lost in my pursuit of motherhood. There are pieces of myself that I will never get back. Every injection, negative test, pill, ultrasound, surgery, blood draw, and heartbreak molded me. It brought me to paths I never thought I’d walk on that ultimately put me in the right place at the right time to meet these two beautiful souls💕 Each moment was a vital part of our story✨ I’d do it all again to find them, to be worthy of their love, and to be able to call them mine🥹 #motherhoodjourney infertility #infertilityjourney #girlmom postpartum #idaholiving

“I want to be a mama just like you”💗 When

“I want to be a mama just like you”💗

When Elsie was born I would always tell her that I have no clue what I’m doing but that she doesn’t know either so we are just going to figure this out together🥰 This time around while 4.5 years sometimes makes me feel like a total newbie again I am aware that I’m constantly being watched😂 It’s not just me and the baby figuring everything out during the day. It’s me, the baby, and Elsie🥹 She is observing, watching my failures (poop explosion being the worst of it so far😅), smiling at my wins, asking questions when she doesn’t understand, and seeing firsthand what motherhood looks like in its different forms.

When she tells me she wants to be a mom or that she wants to be like me it is seriously such an honor to me and makes me so emotional😭❤️ It matters because I’m not a perfect mom. I make mistakes. I apologize. I try to do better. Elsie sees it all and still sees the beauty in the imperfections and that makes this mama so happy and makes me feel like we are on the right track🥹 I love her so much! Had to capture this moment last night in the dinner chaos when she pulled out her baby carrier and wanted me to teach her how to put a diaper on her baby and put her in the carrier just like me and Della💕 #motherhoodjourney #girlmom #whenigrowup infertility #infertilityjourney newborn #idahomom

Happy Due Date Della Rue🤍 Fun fact at my baby

Happy Due Date Della Rue🤍

Fun fact at my baby shower we took guesses for when she would decide to come based off her due date and guess who won…. HUDSON😂 He guessed Saturday the 4th and no one guessed the 5th. Friday night on the 3rd we actually went into L&D because I thought I was leaking amniotic fluid. It was looking like Hudson was going to be spot on until they came and told us it was a false alarm🤦🏻‍♀️

The next day when my water actually broke we thought it was hilarious that she must be wanting her dad to win😂 Since she was born early morning on the 5th and his was the closest guess☺️ So glad she decided to come 2 weeks early🥰 She was ready and so were we! The last few weeks have been heavenly with our squish🥹

Sisters💕 The last 4.5 years I wondered if Elsi

Sisters💕

The last 4.5 years I wondered if Elsie would ever have a sibling. After IVF my hopes of her being a big sister were pretty shattered. The night before we found out we were pregnant with Della I cried to Hudson and vocalized my feelings that neither adoption or transferring our last embryo felt right. We had a real + raw conversation about the possibility that we were done having children. We knew if our family never grew we were blessed beyond measure and were happy as long as we were together🤍 Nine months later and these 2 sisters have my heart❤️

I look at them and I can see them growing up together… Elsie doing Della’s hair for her first dance, pedicures for the first day of school, sleepovers Christmas Eve, college roadtrips… it’s so clear now and I can’t imagine a world where we didn’t have both of our girls🥹 Their love is so special and I am loving watching it grow💗 #sisters #bestfriends #motherhoodjourney infertility #infertilityjourney #girlmom

One week with Della Rue🤍 Every day of pregnanc

One week with Della Rue🤍

Every day of pregnancy was a mental battle to not crumble under the fear of what the last 6 years taught me I couldn’t do. I hadn’t realized the weight of what I had been trying to hold together the last 9 months until they placed her on my chest for the first time. All I could say was “we did it” over and over and over🤍 God was in every detail. Elsie Mae and Della Rue are our miracles had continue to show me the reality of Gods love and awareness in my life. Labor was everything I dreamed it would be. It was hard, but Hudson kept a smile on my face the entire time and had me laughing through it all much like he has the last 6 years🥹 And when Della took her first breath I felt nothing but peace just like I felt when her big sister entered into the world😭💕 My heart is so full. Grateful for this crazy, beautiful, hard, unexpected journey called life🤍🤍🤍🤍 #pregnancy #laboranddelivery #birthstories #givingbirth #pregnancyjourney #infertility #rainbowbaby girl mom

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